Garlic warning. Only make this carbonara with garlic bread if you do not have work the next day. I had students politely choking and gagging as they entered my classroom when I devoured this on a school night. I just had to say ‘sorry guys that smell is me’ and the little sweeties just said ‘eow’ and got on with their work-bless them. I love carbonara because it’s just an inexpensive, comforting hug in a bowl. I get a little bit offended when people say ‘do you make it with cream or eggs?’ B*tch please. He makes the world’s best garlic bread. It’s a Jamie Oliver recipe and I can’t find it online so please don’t sue me Jamie (congrats on the baby boy by the way if that helps). I love to make this on a Friday or Saturday night when we can’t be bothered doing something too hard and it makes us extremely happy each time. I use linguini because the flatter pasta provides a better surface area for the silky sauce. It’s also stronger to strangle him with when he stands over me mentally counting the bacon bits going into each bowl. 

Carbonara

• 3 eggs
• 50g parmesan cheese
• 5g of cracked black pepper
• 150g bacon lardons
• 1 tbsp dried parsley
• 2 cloves of garlic
• 200-250g linguini

1. Fry the bacon lardons, garlic and parsley until crispy.
2. In a jug, whisk the eggs and fold in the cheese and pepper.
3. Cook the linguini and drain the water away. 
4. Put the pasta back in the saucepan and stir in the bacon and egg mixture. I put a TINY bit of heat under it just to give it a little bit of help. But do not over cook- the whole process should take less than a minute. 

Garlic ciabatta

• Ciabatta
• 1 large bunch of parsley
• 5 cloves of garlic
• 1 tsp salt flakes
• 2 tbsp of olive oil

1. Preheat the oven to 220c. Slice the bread close to the base but not all the way through. Finely chop the garlic and parsley. Mix together on a board and add the salt. Continue to chop and enjoy the salt crunching. 
2. Wet a piece of baking paper and wring it up into a ball and shake it out. 
3. Place the paper on a flat surface and put your glug of oil onto it. Put your parsley mixture on top of the oil.
4. Be prepared to get messy and don’t wimp out: put the bread in the mixture, massage the crust with it (trying not to sound too raunchy) and then make sure you evenly get every drop of the mixture deep into every crevice. Honestly, trying to keep it PG here! 
5. Wrap the violated bread in the paper like a sealed parcel and put in the oven for 20-25 minutes.

This bread is insane- the base is so crispy that no one can have a normal polite reaction when they eat it.